LAUNCELOT It is a wise father that knows his own child.- William Shakespeare
I know that every father wants the best for their children; we desire that they become great in life. Who will not want to be recognized as the president’s father, the dad of the celebrated surgeon, or the dad of a senior advocate of Nigeria. That will make us real proud won’t it? I guess it will; but the question is, will it make our children find fulfillment in life? The answer in most cases will be a no.
The reality is that often times, fathers especially want to live their unfulfilled dreams through their children, or they want to continue a legacy in the family to maintain a family business and tradition. So you will find lots of grown up men who are doing jobs that they are not happy with simply because they want to please daddy. Year in year out, children are forced to adopt the career choice of their parents. I guess another reason parents do this, is because they also believe that their children are not matured to make such critical decision about their lives themselves alone at that stage of their lives.
I heard the story of a young man years ago; who graduated as a medical practitioner with distinctions, he was celebrated by all because many wanted to be like him. On the day of graduation, when he was called as one of the best student, instead of giving an oratory speak as much expected by the university authority, his friends, and parents, he boasted out crying. It wasn’t the cry of joy, but that of deep sorrow and it made his parents really embarrassed.
After the whole event, his dad called him to reprimand him for embarrassing them in such a way in the sight of all the people. His word to him was that, all of his life he has done his bidding that his dad should give him the freedom to do what he loves to do with his life. He handed over his certificate to him, and he opted to be a musician.
I believe that we are custodian of those children, and we should give them the opportunity to fulfill the purpose for their creation. Outside of that purpose they will fill like a prisoner all through their lives; I know it’s natural to be protective, but as fathers we should seek the good in our children by letting them discover themselves and then trust them enough to allow them make decisions of their own. Provided they have not chosen the evil way as a profession; we should encourage them to become all that they are passionate to become.
The following are the result that will get from imposing your choice of career on your children…
You will be fulfilled- You will get fulfillment been the dad of a successful academician, but that is really been selfish. You will have gotten your dreams fulfilled but at the expense of your children discovering who they are created to be, which is the best that they can ever become in life.
They may end up with poor grade- Lots of children are struggling to survive in many tertiary institutions in the country because they applied for a profession that they have no flair for, neither do they have the required intelligent quotient to cope with the required course outline.
I met John recently who was studying mechanical engineering in one of the tertiary institution in Nigeria; he was so frustrated with the course that he would have walked out if not for the feeling of disappointing his dad that he has. His grades are nothing to be written home about; if some miracles don’t happen, he may be required by the university authority to either drop out of the institution or pick a career path that is less than engineering
They will never really be fulfilled in life- James Russell Lowell said, ‘Nature fits all of her children with something to do. He, who would write and can’t write, can surely review.’ I would rather say that every one of us is a grand design of a being called God (do bear with me; my opinion is from my Christian belief) who created us to fulfill specific purposes here on earth and has endowed us with different potential to fulfill what we have been created to do.
True fulfillment is pursuing your purpose with a passion, and not fulfilling the dreams of others; many children are trapped in family tradition of having accountants, doctors, etc just to make a family business a growing concern.
I am not saying that dads shouldn’t be concerned about the future prospect of their children; I however, believe that the best way to guide them is to help them discover themselves and the ability that they are endowed with. We should them help them to pursue things that brings out the zest in them.
Olufemi Fasanya
08037257479, 08083906405
www.heavenonearthmarriage.blogspot.com
I know that every father wants the best for their children; we desire that they become great in life. Who will not want to be recognized as the president’s father, the dad of the celebrated surgeon, or the dad of a senior advocate of Nigeria. That will make us real proud won’t it? I guess it will; but the question is, will it make our children find fulfillment in life? The answer in most cases will be a no.
The reality is that often times, fathers especially want to live their unfulfilled dreams through their children, or they want to continue a legacy in the family to maintain a family business and tradition. So you will find lots of grown up men who are doing jobs that they are not happy with simply because they want to please daddy. Year in year out, children are forced to adopt the career choice of their parents. I guess another reason parents do this, is because they also believe that their children are not matured to make such critical decision about their lives themselves alone at that stage of their lives.
I heard the story of a young man years ago; who graduated as a medical practitioner with distinctions, he was celebrated by all because many wanted to be like him. On the day of graduation, when he was called as one of the best student, instead of giving an oratory speak as much expected by the university authority, his friends, and parents, he boasted out crying. It wasn’t the cry of joy, but that of deep sorrow and it made his parents really embarrassed.
After the whole event, his dad called him to reprimand him for embarrassing them in such a way in the sight of all the people. His word to him was that, all of his life he has done his bidding that his dad should give him the freedom to do what he loves to do with his life. He handed over his certificate to him, and he opted to be a musician.
I believe that we are custodian of those children, and we should give them the opportunity to fulfill the purpose for their creation. Outside of that purpose they will fill like a prisoner all through their lives; I know it’s natural to be protective, but as fathers we should seek the good in our children by letting them discover themselves and then trust them enough to allow them make decisions of their own. Provided they have not chosen the evil way as a profession; we should encourage them to become all that they are passionate to become.
The following are the result that will get from imposing your choice of career on your children…
You will be fulfilled- You will get fulfillment been the dad of a successful academician, but that is really been selfish. You will have gotten your dreams fulfilled but at the expense of your children discovering who they are created to be, which is the best that they can ever become in life.
They may end up with poor grade- Lots of children are struggling to survive in many tertiary institutions in the country because they applied for a profession that they have no flair for, neither do they have the required intelligent quotient to cope with the required course outline.
I met John recently who was studying mechanical engineering in one of the tertiary institution in Nigeria; he was so frustrated with the course that he would have walked out if not for the feeling of disappointing his dad that he has. His grades are nothing to be written home about; if some miracles don’t happen, he may be required by the university authority to either drop out of the institution or pick a career path that is less than engineering
They will never really be fulfilled in life- James Russell Lowell said, ‘Nature fits all of her children with something to do. He, who would write and can’t write, can surely review.’ I would rather say that every one of us is a grand design of a being called God (do bear with me; my opinion is from my Christian belief) who created us to fulfill specific purposes here on earth and has endowed us with different potential to fulfill what we have been created to do.
True fulfillment is pursuing your purpose with a passion, and not fulfilling the dreams of others; many children are trapped in family tradition of having accountants, doctors, etc just to make a family business a growing concern.
I am not saying that dads shouldn’t be concerned about the future prospect of their children; I however, believe that the best way to guide them is to help them discover themselves and the ability that they are endowed with. We should them help them to pursue things that brings out the zest in them.
Olufemi Fasanya
08037257479, 08083906405
www.heavenonearthmarriage.blogspot.com
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