One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters. ~ George Herbert
Children don’t become what we taught them to be, rather they turn up the way we are. If you ever meet an inconsistent child who tells lies at will, you don’t need to go far, just visit his/her home and you will discover that they are a reflection of their parents. Many a time parents shy a way from the responsibility of admitting that they are to blame for what their children turned out to be; they put the blame on everyone else but themselves. The rule of life is, if you point an accusing finger on some one for the predicament that you have found yourself, four points back to you saying that you are also the architect of your fortune and miss fortune. Fathers especially put the blame on their wives. According to them, she should have taken care of the home while he goes out to make all of the millions required to meet the needs of the family.
I said to a newly wedded husband recently; I told him that if any marriage collapses, I will put 70% of the blame on the man. The reason is because a man was created to be logical, while the woman acts primarily out of their emotions. It’s when men act out of negative emotions that temporarily blinds his mind, that so much harm is done which many a time he comes to regret it. Permit me to say to fathers who will be opportune to read this column, that if your children become wayward and a no good to the society, I will put 70% of the fault on you. Prove me wrong; go to ghettos that you find young men living who had run a way from home and interview them. You will discover that not less than 70% of them will point the blame on a father who didn’t responsibly took care of them. Such is the sad story of Aliu who ran away from home years back…
His mum died when she was giving birth to him and he grew under the care of his father. However, event took another course for him when his dad got married to another wife. Before they got married, his dad’s intended treated him with lot of love and she dots around him. He became fond of her not knowing that a stage was been set up by her to get into their home. After she had her way, things became worse for him because she began ill treating him whenever his dad isn’t around. She practically starves him when his dad travels out of town; to make matters worse his dad don’t even pay him attention like in the past, his step siblings seems to be the center of his love.
His dad traveled abroad year back and not long afterwards he ran away from home because of the way he was maltreated. He traveled down to Lagos and for some time lived under one of the bridges in the city; luck seems to shine upon him when a philanthropist got speaking with him and discovered that he was intelligent. He proposed to help him improve on this live based on the condition that he will work for him; he was true to his promise though this weren’t as easy living with him too. Today, he is a graduate working in one of the financial institution. He has made peace with his dad and his step mum; presently he is paying the school fees of two of his siblings, yet deep inside of him there is a child inside that cries for the love of a father he never got when he was growing up.
It’s easy to feel proud any time your family is blessed with a new child, but if you will feel proud about them years latter, there is need to actively participate in their upbringing not leaving the role to their mother alone. I observe a trend after counseling singles and those that are married, that when a male child doesn’t have an authority figure in their lives (there father), are excessively emotional. They complain and act many a time out of their primary essence (logic) which puts them in charge.
It’s time for every dad that reads this column to rise up to their responsibility; not just giving commands and acting like a school teacher who writes on the board and gives assignments. We all should start checking out the mirror, not looking for how young we still look; we should rather look deep within, to examine our lives and see what we need to change or improve on to make our children better ones both now and in the future. Our children will eventually become our reflection 70% of the time except they decide not to end up like a father that they consider irresponsible. My question is who are you? Are you worthy of emulation?
Parenting starts will both parents been responsible and actively involve in the upbringing of their children; the man of the house especially shouldn’t take a passive role in the raising his children, rather he should play a prominent role in their lives until they become all that he desires them to be.
Olufemi Fasanya
08037257479, 08083906405
www.heavenonearthmarriage.blogspot.com
Children don’t become what we taught them to be, rather they turn up the way we are. If you ever meet an inconsistent child who tells lies at will, you don’t need to go far, just visit his/her home and you will discover that they are a reflection of their parents. Many a time parents shy a way from the responsibility of admitting that they are to blame for what their children turned out to be; they put the blame on everyone else but themselves. The rule of life is, if you point an accusing finger on some one for the predicament that you have found yourself, four points back to you saying that you are also the architect of your fortune and miss fortune. Fathers especially put the blame on their wives. According to them, she should have taken care of the home while he goes out to make all of the millions required to meet the needs of the family.
I said to a newly wedded husband recently; I told him that if any marriage collapses, I will put 70% of the blame on the man. The reason is because a man was created to be logical, while the woman acts primarily out of their emotions. It’s when men act out of negative emotions that temporarily blinds his mind, that so much harm is done which many a time he comes to regret it. Permit me to say to fathers who will be opportune to read this column, that if your children become wayward and a no good to the society, I will put 70% of the fault on you. Prove me wrong; go to ghettos that you find young men living who had run a way from home and interview them. You will discover that not less than 70% of them will point the blame on a father who didn’t responsibly took care of them. Such is the sad story of Aliu who ran away from home years back…
His mum died when she was giving birth to him and he grew under the care of his father. However, event took another course for him when his dad got married to another wife. Before they got married, his dad’s intended treated him with lot of love and she dots around him. He became fond of her not knowing that a stage was been set up by her to get into their home. After she had her way, things became worse for him because she began ill treating him whenever his dad isn’t around. She practically starves him when his dad travels out of town; to make matters worse his dad don’t even pay him attention like in the past, his step siblings seems to be the center of his love.
His dad traveled abroad year back and not long afterwards he ran away from home because of the way he was maltreated. He traveled down to Lagos and for some time lived under one of the bridges in the city; luck seems to shine upon him when a philanthropist got speaking with him and discovered that he was intelligent. He proposed to help him improve on this live based on the condition that he will work for him; he was true to his promise though this weren’t as easy living with him too. Today, he is a graduate working in one of the financial institution. He has made peace with his dad and his step mum; presently he is paying the school fees of two of his siblings, yet deep inside of him there is a child inside that cries for the love of a father he never got when he was growing up.
It’s easy to feel proud any time your family is blessed with a new child, but if you will feel proud about them years latter, there is need to actively participate in their upbringing not leaving the role to their mother alone. I observe a trend after counseling singles and those that are married, that when a male child doesn’t have an authority figure in their lives (there father), are excessively emotional. They complain and act many a time out of their primary essence (logic) which puts them in charge.
It’s time for every dad that reads this column to rise up to their responsibility; not just giving commands and acting like a school teacher who writes on the board and gives assignments. We all should start checking out the mirror, not looking for how young we still look; we should rather look deep within, to examine our lives and see what we need to change or improve on to make our children better ones both now and in the future. Our children will eventually become our reflection 70% of the time except they decide not to end up like a father that they consider irresponsible. My question is who are you? Are you worthy of emulation?
Parenting starts will both parents been responsible and actively involve in the upbringing of their children; the man of the house especially shouldn’t take a passive role in the raising his children, rather he should play a prominent role in their lives until they become all that he desires them to be.
Olufemi Fasanya
08037257479, 08083906405
www.heavenonearthmarriage.blogspot.com
No comments:
Post a Comment